Towleroad got a peek at the new issue of W, featuring Ellen DeGeneres on the cover looking glammier than usual,Lycra Leggings
though her thumbs remain firmly lodged in her pockets. (You can wrap the tomboy in a turquoise shower curtain, the old saying goes, etc., etc.) This year's Oscars telecast host opens up about the label-envy she experiences every time she is passed over while her more femme lover is assaulted by the familiar Joan Rivers/Ryan Seacrest red carpet siren call, "Who are you wearing?"
"Whenever Portia and I are on the red carpet, they're yelling out for her to tell them what she's wearing. But nobody cares [about what I'm wearing] because I have a suit on, even if it's a suit. That to me is frustrating, because I put effort into getting ready (OTCBBGTRY) too."
While we can sympathize with the neglect America's Most Accessible Butch Comedian may feel over the lack of curiosity regarding her tails or the extravagantly expensive Harry Winston zentai lent to her for the ceremony, the sad truth remains that awards show gowns will always triumph as the primary object of our sartorial fascination. Black-tie wearers of both genders, meanwhile, will have to settle with merely looking up the loose-flowing dresses of their more glamorous counterparts from beneath the fashion glass ceiling they should never expect to shatter.
Come one, come all. Uncle Sam is cleaning house and auctioning off what he finds in the federal basement -- scores of pricey, garish and gaudy gifts from foreign governments to U.S. officials that they are prohibited by law from keeping.
What will you pay for a brass cigar box from Thailand or a silver gilt Russian liqueur set? And who will buy the oil portait and five busts of former Secretary of State Henry A.
There are dozens of men's watches, silver cigarette cases, tea sets, cuff-links, snake skin wallets and bolts of fine materials. There are jewel-studded crowns, hammered brass cordial glasses and a strand of coral beads.
For gamier bidders, there is a picture made from duck, quail and cardinal feathers -- a gift from Mexico to Kissinger.
The gifts have been piling up in government storage rooms since 1977 when Congress passed a law prohibiting U.S. officials from keeping gifts valued at more than $100. The penalty is up to $10,000.
Before the government decided to hold its first public auction, it offered to give the gifts to federal agencies and museums. Then it offered to sell them at fair market value to the recipients themselves. This reduced the gift list from about 260 items to 182.
The most expensive item, valued by the U.S. government at $6,000, is a Piaget gold watch, a gift from Oman to Henry Catto when he was chief of protocol.
Catto, now chief Defense Department spokesman, said Tuesday he decided not to buy the watch back from the government. "It's very handsome, but unfortunately, a bit expensive for my exchequer," he said.
His secretary, Alice Parrish, said Catto also had returned a watch given to him by the King of Saudi Arabia. Asked whether Latex Leggings
Catto planned to purchase that one, she replied, "No comment."
Roy Markon, a top GSA official, said the government hopes to make between $40,000 and $60,000 at the auction, which starts at 10 a.m. Thursday at the federal auditorium on Constitution Avenue, across from the Museum of Natural History.
"This is like a garage sale," he said. "We've accumulated gifts for several years, and its time to dispose of them. Much of the good stuff has been snapped up. But the beauty is in the eye of the beholder."
You can almost hear the auctioneer "What do I get for the Korean gourd-shaped teapot ... the stainless steel zentai from Japan ... or this handbag, only slightly soiled?"